Defining the problem
We’re back at it with a new week, ladies and gents. Today’s piece is a special one.
Edward de Bono is the person who coined the term “lateral thinking”. He died earlier this year, so to commemorate the fact that we’re all here discussing ideas that he initially spread, here’s an adapted lateral thinking story from his book - The Use of Lateral Thinking.
Many years ago, a merchant owed a large amount of money to a money-lender. The money-lender decided to take advantage of the situation and proposed a wager:
He wanted to marry the merchant’s beautiful daughter, so he would put two pebbles, one white and one black, in a bag. The daughter would blindly pick one - if she picked the black one, he would get to marry her. If she picked the white one, she was free to do as she pleased and her father’s debt would be forgotten.
Not having a choice, the merchant reluctantly agreed. They went to a pebble road where the money-lender picked two pebbles and put them in a bag. The daughter, however, noticed that the money-lender sneakily picked two pebbles that were both black before putting them in the bag.
What does she do to take advantage of the situation?
The answer, as usual, at the end. Bit of a longer exercise this time, but I think you’ll like it.
Lateral thinking makes the world go ‘round. So forward this newsletter to a friend and tell them to subscribe by clicking here.
Fix the question
Almost every time you’re stuck in a rut and feel that your efforts are useless, you’ll be able to dig yourself out if you ask a different question.
Unhappy at your job? What is it that you actually want to do? Why aren’t you doing it? Maybe you’ll find out you’re in a shadow career.
Can’t stick to a routine? Are you creating the right context for you to stick to it? Resilience is a finite resource - the whole “I’ll quit smoking by sheer willpower” approach might work for some people, but that doesn’t mean it’s a wise strategy.
Start small and build your way up until you have a support system to encourage your routines. That’s what this newsletter is for me.
Unhappy with your love life? Are you looking in the right places? Are you doing what’s right for you or trying to fit some box you don’t really feel you fit in? You just might be sabotaging yourself.
Obviously, you can ask a thousand questions and still not find the answer. But every single time you ask a different question, your chances slowly go up.
So rather than immediately jumping to action and trying to throw everything but the kitchen sink at a problem, try and see if you’re asking the right questions.
Maybe you’re not unhappy at your job, maybe it’s your career that doesn’t fit you. Maybe it’s not about your willpower to stick to a routine, but about the context you’re in.
Maybe it’s not about that you’re unable to find your person, maybe you’re just looking in the same place and for the same type of people (which you already know aren’t a fit).
Because, to paraphrase one of my favorite video games, Far Cry 3:
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Answer:
The young girl took one of the black pebbles from the bag, pretended to fumble with it and dropped it between the other pebbles on the ground before revealing it. She apologized for being so clumsy then said: “Could you take the other pebble out from the bag? We’ll know which one I picked based on which one is left in the bag.”
The money-lender couldn’t admit he tried to deceive them by revealing both pebbles were black, so the daughter was free to marry who she wanted (or live a highly independent judgement-free life).